27 - T'S'GOOD (W/ Jake and Rio)

Transcript

SPEAKER_12 0:00

Throughout time, philosophers have befuddledly wondered aloud the answer to one simple question How do you describe salt without saying salty? Today, in this very podcast studio, two non-philosophers will attempt to answer that question with the help of some special guests and the time-tested medium of long form improv. Whether or not that improv will actually have anything to do with the topic at hand is frankly not up in the air. It won't have anything to do with it. But you'll still want to listen anyway. Welcome to Describe Salt. Derek? Yeah. What uh what's what's what have you what food have you made at your job lately? Whoa.

SPEAKER_04 1:04

I wanna know. Have we degraded so far? Degraded. From from the beauty that is a funny cold open to just like what food did you make today?

SPEAKER_12 1:15

You you're no chef. You make interesting food. I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

So I made jerk chicken today. I made jerk chicken. Okay. Uh my sous-chef made tomato romano soup. It's delicious. Tomato romano? Yeah, so it's like a creamy tomato soup with like Oh, I think I've had that actually. Croutons and Parmesan.

SPEAKER_12 1:35

Yeah. Yeah. No, we'll we'll find something funny. We'll find something funny. Keep going, keep going, keep going. I made salads. Salads? What kind of salads? Could be hey, there's some interesting salads. Yeah, yeah. What kind of salad? What kind of salad?

SPEAKER_04 1:50

Wedge salads. Damn it. With blue cheese and bacon and cheese and cucumbers.

SPEAKER_12 1:57

Not very funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

Nope. Uh you've got the uh the old ye old chef salad. Oh.

SPEAKER_12 2:03

You've got uh I thought you were saying that you had an old uh ye old medieval chef. Or a connector. That could have been something, but no, it's not, so we have to keep going. Okay, keep going.

SPEAKER_04 2:14

Might be the worst intro in history. Um we gotta find it. We gotta find it. A smoked salmon fall salad is on my menu right now.

SPEAKER_12 2:23

Smoked salmon fall salad. Yeah, you got like smoking. Okay, we can work with this. We can work with this. We can work with this. So is it um the salad is there's no lettuce. Well, there is. There's no Oh yes, you're right.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

Sorry, we're improving. There is no lettuce. There's no lettuce. No.

SPEAKER_12 2:45

The salad is uh the the the the river. The salad is there's a there's a bear at a river. Yep. Hey. Smoked smoked salmon salad? Yeah. More like bear bear catching salmon out of a river. That's that's that's a salad for bears.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

I am Derek, and this is a podcast that we talk about improv.

SPEAKER_12 3:16

Aren't you so glad I found the funny? I did it.

SPEAKER_04 3:20

I have never full around.

SPEAKER_12 3:21

I've never heard you stretch so far. And I'm Dan, and I also want a podcast about improv.

SPEAKER_04 3:28

So this is a podcast called Describe Salt, where we bring on a comedian or comedians every week uh to describe for us what that thing is you put on top of your salmon to make it taste so good.

SPEAKER_12 3:40

Yeah. Sometimes maybe a bear's eating the salmon. And then it's uh the if the bear. I'm saying that the water, that the river, the river there's water in the river, and you know, bears stand in the river. So it's actually crazy you bring this up. The water is the salad, the water's the lettuce. Sorry, no. The salmon in the river. It's crazy that you bring this up.

SPEAKER_04 4:01

Because with us today, we have famed Bear River experts. John and Jane.

SPEAKER_12 4:09

John and Jane, welcome to the podcast. John and Jane. We love having experts of all kinds here on Describe Salt.

SPEAKER_04 4:16

Yeah. Bear Rivers. That's very interesting. Not the Bear River, but like r bears in rivers, right?

SPEAKER_12 4:24

You can tell us. You're the ones that know. You're the experts. What kind of experts?

SPEAKER_08 4:27

I'm Jane, and um, yes, uh, bears. Uh it's actually a misnomer. Bears do not stand in the river. Oh, they not hover over rivers. Interesting. Yes, they are very advanced.

SPEAKER_09 4:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Yeah, and I'm John, and I'm sorry if I seem a little out of it. I just smoked a whole pack of salmon.

SPEAKER_12 4:46

Oh you smoked.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

I smoked a whole pack. I've been smoking salmon since before you were born.

SPEAKER_12 4:52

And that just the smoke just like gets in your gets in your head and does what?

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Are you No, I'm smoking the salmon.

SPEAKER_12 4:58

Oh, you're smoking it.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Grind it up. Oh, look at that. Look at that.

SPEAKER_04 5:02

That is a that is a that is a pink. Can I smoke any uh uh I actually have a baby upstairs, so it's smoking in a if you want to blow it out the window.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

I think salmon's also not good for babies, so yeah, it's pretty bad.

SPEAKER_08 5:13

Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Jane, you're more of the expert on like what's good for babies.

SPEAKER_08 5:18

Salmon is not too bad. Oh. Um it's mostly something raw fish. I'm really impressed. Mostly from the ocean that that get the mercury in there.

SPEAKER_04 5:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 5:27

And the mercury is bad for the babies for sure. Um, but you don't find it in salmon very often. It is very important though, no matter what fish you get, i you have to cook it. Um if if you are having a baby or if you are feeding a baby the salmon.

SPEAKER_12 5:44

So you can feed a baby salmon.

SPEAKER_08 5:45

You can feed a baby anything. Whether they can swallow it or whether it's good for them is the question. Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

And that reminds me of a joke. You can feed a baby, but you can't tune a fish.

SPEAKER_12 5:57

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Are you I love improv also.

SPEAKER_12 6:01

I really John. I actually feel like this tuna fish joke is really vibing with me right now. Yeah. Did you also smoke some fish? He smoked the salmon.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

I I You gotta cook that thing before it cooks a salmon.

SPEAKER_12 6:17

I will I will give you one there. John. Always on.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

John's always on. That's what they call me on John.

SPEAKER_12 6:25

What what what okay? How do you feel about is I feel like I feel like I'm doing a bad job of explaining this and I'm so scared.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

I feel like you haven't talked about it.

SPEAKER_12 6:37

That's probably fine. Okay. I just want to try explaining it. Okay, please. Because we have experts. We have Bear River experts. I'm still not a hundred percent sure what that means. But we'll get to it. We'll get to it. I just want to know if you think that it makes sense that a a smoked a salad holy sh I can't I don't know how to say this. A salad to humans is like uh a salmon in a river to bears. Is that what you were going at? That's what I was trying to say, and I finally forgot to say it out loud.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

In like we eat 'em.

SPEAKER_04 7:20

In like you'd eat 'em.

SPEAKER_12 7:21

Um it's more like the really but but the water is the lettuce. Wouldn't that be more of a water is the lettuce. Because it gets tossed.

SPEAKER_04 7:31

But it would be a good thing.

SPEAKER_12 7:31

They toss the s the salmon around in the water, just like you tossed stuff around in the lettuce. I want to hear from our experts.

SPEAKER_08 7:39

I think you've really got something there. Thank you. Well, it makes sense to me. It's not something that I would go with, but it is something. Okay. Um you have the heart of a researcher, I think. And you you might want to consider a future in bare riverology.

SPEAKER_12 8:00

Okay. Uh hey, I'm always looking for new new little rabbit hole obsessions.

SPEAKER_08 8:06

That being said, I do think it's a dumb idea. Oh.

SPEAKER_12 8:10

It's less of an idea and more okay.

SPEAKER_08 8:12

But your heart is in the right place. Yes. Hey, that's all I needed. That's all I needed. I just needed someone to tell me that my heart was in the right place. Because the bears I think the bears, even though it's not what you're saying, they might agree with you. They would also be wrong, but I just thank you, Jane. Thank you. There's something there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:38

Jane, how long have you been studying Bear River all the time?

SPEAKER_08 8:41

Oh, more than six months. Uh a long, long time. More than six months.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

Yeah. Uh how about you, John?

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Um I'm sorry. I'm just kind of like reeling in it right now because uh I'm sorry. I don't the Sam is hitting and it makes me kind of emotional sometimes. I was thinking about something stupid I said yesterday. And then also Jane. I that's really nice what you said to Dan.

SPEAKER_08 9:07

Well, I think it's true.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

It sounds a lot like what you said to me.

SPEAKER_08 9:12

What?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

And I'm just feeling a little bit weird about that because that because you saying that my heart was in the right place is the whole freaking reason I started studying bear riverology. And it feels like that's just kind of a diamond dozen saying that you're saying to anybody. This person hasn't shown any but again. Is this a can can there only be a certain number of no no no no no no it's just that you don't have like the vibes. Maybe your heart's in the right place, but you don't have like the vibes, and I just I'm sorry, I'm getting like worked up. I need to. John.

SPEAKER_08 9:42

I'm I'm really sorry that you feel that way, and I'm sorry that my words hurt you.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

See, and you're doing this thing again where you talk so nice, so sweet, but it's just freaking infuriating.

SPEAKER_12 9:54

Whoa. Are you guys I don't want to get in the middle of anything? Are you guys like a couple? Or are you guys just like the workers?

SPEAKER_04 10:02

I I think it brings me to the city. I'm a male lesbian. That makes a lot of sense. What about I don't know. Okay. Let's divulge topics that are relevant.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

I just like you guys are fighting. Like you've been married. I'm sorry, no, I'm bringing I'm bringing personal things in. I just thought this was like a cool podcast, so I thought I could smoke a couple rolls of salmon, but apparently not. You want to talk about my job and John is 1020 p.m. No problem. Yeah, so I got my degree from the University of Ohio, which is crazy because it's not even anywhere near the Bear River.

SPEAKER_04 10:38

Um Can I ask you a question about salmon?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:43

Is it raw when you put it in the paper and then gets cooked by the lighting of the cigar?

SPEAKER_12 10:51

I'm glad you're bringing this up because I do, even though I did go back to talking about bears and salads and such, I am just fully interested in how you smoke salmon. No, no, no. I'm sorry, this is Jane you aren't into. It looks like you look down on it a lot.

SPEAKER_08 11:10

I used to, and I had to s I had to quit. I had to quit. Um You know uh my best friend from years ago had a a very you don't have to talk about it if you want to.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

It's alright, we it's a safe space. Yeah. You can leave.

SPEAKER_12 11:31

You can we can we can talk about bears. We can talk about bears and rivers. It's just that Smokey was very important to me.

SPEAKER_09 11:37

And he's sorry, the bear? Smokey the bear? Or a salmon named Smokey. He fell off the deep end because of Smokey Salmon. Oh, the bear.

SPEAKER_12 11:50

And I just Derek, Derek, I think I think we're less than two degrees away from Smokey the Bear right now. I think so too. That's sick. That's so dope. Okay, sorry, sorry, continue, continue.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Wait, I also just want to clarify something. It's actually Smokey Bear. I looked this up recently, and it's not Smokey the Bear, and you've all been Mandela effect, and it's just Smokey Bear. Anyways, Jane, I am so sorry. I'm just I'm tripping so hard right now. Go ahead and continue.

SPEAKER_08 12:16

Look, it's not something that I usually talk about. Um, it's not something I like to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

And it's can bring it up on every podcast we go on that one.

SPEAKER_08 12:25

Everyone has their own battle. Everyone has their You know what? Someone asked me a question, John. And I'm I'm not just going to be rude and not answer the question. So I I was trying to explain why I no longer partake. Um I don't judge the people who do. I just I I just can't do it anymore. Uh you know, what after what happened to Smokey, and he had his own issues, and I couldn't just hey, hey, it's all right, bud.

SPEAKER_12 12:58

I'm sorry. It's all right. Maybe we should just change the subject. Smokey Bear was was a important figure in all of our lives.

SPEAKER_04 13:05

Did he die? Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 13:07

Oh no, I assumed. No.

SPEAKER_12 13:09

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_08 13:11

Um but he did have to go into retirement and um he's not doing well. Um he has a couple of caretakers and they're on hospice?

SPEAKER_12 13:24

It's the morphine or just just caretakers. Very he's either on hospice or he's just rich.

SPEAKER_08 13:31

No, no, no. He cannot he cannot he's not self-reliant. Okay. Let's say. And uh he he lives a very difficult life right now. So our prayers are with him.

SPEAKER_04 13:45

I feel like I must apologize for asking if you two were a couple. I feel like that made things very tense. But you must understand that you guys hate each other. You know that, right?

unknown 13:57

No.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Why would you say that? What the fuck?

SPEAKER_12 14:02

Derek, you just finished saying I'm sorry for making this the situation more tense. And then you accused them of accusing each other.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Yeah. I feel I But is it some kind of joke podcast? No, no, no. Let's just talk about let's just talk about so. Okay. You can tune a fish, but you can't tune a piano. Wait.

SPEAKER_04 14:22

What was this man's name? No, no, no. Listen, there's a reason I bring this up. I feel like there's something we can get to here. I feel like we can get to something. Oh my god, hold on. I have the talking stick. I have the talking stick. I feel like we could get deep here. Because listen, I have a degree in psychology, so like I feel like we could really we could settle this. So you got a job as a chef? Yeah. So John. What happened to make you feel so frustrated with Jane?

SPEAKER_12 14:52

And again, you don't have to go into your personal lives. But I feel like we should create content for the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 15:01

I really think that there is a deep that was a deep pull. You two are obviously best friends from some life who have fallen away because of business. And I think we can rekindle that friendship.

SPEAKER_08 15:14

I I honestly don't know where you're getting this, Derek. I John and I have a very good working relationship and a very um say amicable personal relationship.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Amicable personal relationship.

SPEAKER_08 15:33

You know, we everyone has their struggles now and then, Derek. I I don't know what it's like. At least four months.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

At least four months. Yes. At least four months.

SPEAKER_08 15:44

More than that.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

How old's your baby, man?

SPEAKER_04 15:46

Four months. Four months.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Yeah, that's like your baby's whole life, dude.

SPEAKER_04 15:50

Alright. All right, all right. I didn't want to start anything. Well, uh, you know, you can see a cracking.

SPEAKER_12 15:55

I feel like you literally did want to start. I really feel like you're trying to.

SPEAKER_08 15:59

I understand that podcasts are uh I mean this is our culture now is is all about the drama on these podcasts, and I I know that he's telling me I know it's it's something that a lot of people go for. It's kind of a lowest common denominator type of approach. And um I don't really I don't really stand by it. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

But uh Yeah, she doesn't partake in anything that that she likes. And and I mean and and can I hold your hand while I say this? I I really thought that we thought this was gonna be different.

unknown 16:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

And I just want to say and I d no, no, no, no. I'm gonna clear it up right now for you, okay? I'm gonna let me clear it up for you right now.

SPEAKER_08 16:44

Jane isn't okay with hand holding though.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Jane, I love you. Yeah, Jane, I've always loved you.

SPEAKER_12 16:57

You know, how's it?

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Do you wanna know how it works? Do you wanna know how it works in ten words or less? Alright. Alright. You take the salmon, you run it under hot water.

SPEAKER_03 17:10

Keep going.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

So you can the skin off of it. Because the skin, you gotta pick out the seeds and stems, pick out the skin.

SPEAKER_03 17:17

I love the salmon seeds to make really good snacks.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Get the seeds, get the stems out of there. And then you're probably gonna want to like cut it up a little bit. Yeah. Like uh, like not what's it sashimi size? Is this triggering? I won't ask you.

SPEAKER_08 17:32

No, no, it's not triggering. It's fine. It's fine.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

You are such a peach. Um, so you take that, you put it in the grinder, you get that that good goosy stuff in there, you grind it up. It's like, why are you it's like ground beef. It's like ground beef.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

It's like ground beef. What's your problem? No, it's fine. It's disgusting, it's wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

You take okay, now you better not have discarded the skins. I know I told you to and toss them. I hope you tossed them not in the trash, though. Because you will need those. You lay that out. Got it? Yeah. Okay. You take the good gooshy ground salmon. Yeah. You you write that in the skin, you roll it up tight.

SPEAKER_08 18:08

You smoke it in the tight, not too tight. Not too tight, though.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Not too tight though, because then you're like really trying to trying to suck that down. And then it is nice, it is like cooling, and you just and it's like you get water in your lungs a little bit, and it's kind of nice, because then you can be like, I'm so one with the Bear River. Um, and then you just suck, you just suck down that goosy gooshy, goosey gooshy salmon air, and you feel good.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

So you just said you just suck down the gooshy gooshy air, and then you feel good. Okay.

unknown 18:42

Okay. I think.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

Well, thanks for being on the first t-shirt.

SPEAKER_08 18:45

Thank you so much. Thank you guys. Um, yeah, yeah, you're welcome. It's been a great pleasure. Yeah. Sure. Answering some of your questions. Sure.

SPEAKER_12 18:52

I learned a lot about Dan Bear.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

My specialty is in Bear River Algae, and we didn't even get to that, but okay.

SPEAKER_04 18:58

That's that's unfortunate. Can I be on again? We'll talk about Bear River Algon.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Okay, yeah, sounds good.

SPEAKER_04 19:01

Can you smoke that too?

SPEAKER_08 19:02

Remember what I told you, Dan? You you could have a future here.

SPEAKER_12 19:05

And I and I don't like when you say that, but okay. Well, we're gonna we're gonna let Jane and John get out of here. But uh you can you could take this. I don't wanna leave. You don't want to take okay. Well, we're we unfortunately do have to take a contractually obligated break.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Is somebody else coming in here? Somebody else podcast coming out.

SPEAKER_04 19:24

Yeah, you're the opening band.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

I'm the opener?

SPEAKER_04 19:28

Unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Whoever is coming after me should be really hot and really funny.

SPEAKER_12 19:33

Well, we'll we'll have to see. We'll see. We'll ask him. You in the meantime. In the meantime. For the listener, we'll catch you right after the break. Thank you. Thank you. And welcome back from that beautiful, beautiful, beautiful advertisement break.

SPEAKER_04 19:49

Oh, that was so nice. I'm gonna go buy myself a Casper mattress now. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 19:54

Well, let's welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_07 19:57

When you actually get advertising, it's not Casper.

SPEAKER_12 19:59

It's not gonna be Casper. It's not gonna be Casper. It's gonna be Helix, and we're gonna have to go retcon all the times that we made jokes about Casper. It's true.

SPEAKER_04 20:06

Well, we have our two wonderful guests on the podcast today.

SPEAKER_12 20:11

Welcome, Rio and Jake. Hi.

SPEAKER_04 20:14

Hi.

SPEAKER_12 20:15

Hello. You can talk. You can say hi.

SPEAKER_04 20:18

Say hi to the people.

unknown 20:19

Hi.

SPEAKER_08 20:20

You don't have to talk.

SPEAKER_12 20:21

Say hi to yourself in the future. Listeners will remember Jake from episode six or seven. Six eight.

SPEAKER_08 20:29

You don't know that. You don't know they'll remember me. Uh someone. I don't.

SPEAKER_10 20:33

I will. But that's the thing you're supposed to say.

SPEAKER_08 20:35

You are a listener. You're my favorite episode.

SPEAKER_12 20:38

Episode eight. Eight. Episode eight. Was it really eight or two? Where you use the word lickable. This is episode twenty-seven. So my gosh. Yeah, did you didn't know there was that many, huh?

SPEAKER_08 20:49

No, I I don't know what I would have guessed if you had had me guess. What do you how many do you think? I I guess I would have thought like eighteen to twenty. Okay. I have a little more confidence in this. Because I hear you talk, I hear Dan talk about like, oh, we had so and so on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and I and I also listen occasionally.

SPEAKER_04 21:09

You don't have to lie.

SPEAKER_12 21:10

I don't think you do. Oh, okay. I remember I remember the week after your episode came out, I saw you listening to I saw our logo on your phone when you were listening, and I read it and I thought it said someone else's name just as I glanced at it, and I was like, Oh, you're listening to the podcast. And you're like, no, it's just my episode again.

SPEAKER_08 21:33

I love the content where you're like, oh, I just love the content. I don't remember this at all. I thought I was listening to when Josh was on.

SPEAKER_10 21:39

Oh, maybe you listen to Josh's too. Okay. He put on his headphones.

SPEAKER_12 21:42

It's like you guys edited out just listening to himself.

SPEAKER_09 21:46

I know when I know when I asked you that time you were listening to your listening to myself. Oh yeah. So true. I'm so good. Oh my god. Every time you're gonna get it. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_12 22:02

Well, fantastic. Thanks for being here. Yeah, thanks for coming on, guys. You should, Rio, as the newcomer to the podcast, you should just start things off by talking about your project that that you want to be promoting.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

Oh, great. I can just promote my stuff. Yeah, Rio paid us a ton of money to come on. So everybody click on my music video on YouTube first and don't don't wait to see if I'm funny.

SPEAKER_04 22:28

So go right now.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Go right now. Pause the podcast. YouTube.com slash wait, wait, wait, type it in. Okay. YouTube.com and then you're gonna type in the worms, the creeping things. The worms is the name of my song and music video. The creeping things is the name of my band.

SPEAKER_12 22:45

We just put our first music video on. And then go put it on repeat and leave it in the room.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

And then go put it on repeat and then you can listen to the rest of the podcast.

SPEAKER_08 22:53

And is it watching Rio and the creeping things or just the creeping?

SPEAKER_01 22:57

It's just the creeping things.

SPEAKER_08 22:58

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

We're we're like uh we're calling ourselves like a sci-fi rock band. Like we're doing like beach rock 60s kind of therman heavy.

SPEAKER_07 23:06

That's really interesting to that does the video does have that vibe. Yeah, beach rock sci-fi is like the vibe of that video.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Exactly what we're going for.

SPEAKER_04 23:16

Yeah, go check it out. It's really, really good. Thank you so much. Who are you? It's weird. Who are you?

unknown 23:24

I'm real.

SPEAKER_12 23:27

How do you how do you know how do you know us? Yeah. Well, dear listener.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Dear listener, I'm gonna give you one guess what theater you think I work at.

SPEAKER_04 23:39

Yeah. That's fair. Uh one of the ones in New York City.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

Yeah. Um, no, I worked at the Desert Star. I was listening.

SPEAKER_12 23:50

We had 27 episodes, and this is probably like the 18th or 19th one that included a person from Desert Star. Desert Star. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

I mean, it's a great, it's a great group of funny people. Yep, you know, indeed. Yes. Yeah. So I've done a billion shows with Dan since 2019 at a couple different theaters. Um Dan, Dan's like one of my longest friends.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Yeah. Which is pretty wild now.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

And I've never done a show with Derek, but I feel like I know him. No, I did one show because I was a swing.

SPEAKER_04 24:22

You weren't supposed to. And we did one performance together. Yes. You got called in. Was that for which show was that? Top Fun.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

Which character did we interact?

SPEAKER_04 24:31

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Was I your robot girlfriend?

SPEAKER_04 24:33

Oh no. No, no, no, no. You were that night you were the the wing wings. Wings, the sidekick. I was the human girlfriend, the side. So we barely girlfriend. Barely interacted.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Yeah, we Daniel. Yeah. But I've seen you perform a lot. I feel like I know you.

SPEAKER_04 24:49

Yeah. You also listen to my brother.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

I listen to the podcast, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

Yeah. No, my deepest secrets.

SPEAKER_08 24:54

I also feel like I know you.

SPEAKER_04 24:56

Jake, we hold hands a lot, so I'm just gonna say that.

SPEAKER_08 24:59

Oh, that's my dream.

SPEAKER_04 25:00

Dang it. I always forget. It's improv. I have to say yes to that.

SPEAKER_08 25:04

You have to say yes.

SPEAKER_12 25:05

Yes. On that note. Oh no. We find ourselves in Jake's bed late at night, and he wakes up and Derek is underneath the bed holding his hand.

SPEAKER_04 25:18

Oh, uh hi. Thank God. I uh I didn't see you. I didn't I didn't know you would wake up.

SPEAKER_08 25:26

I thought it was someone else, and it was gonna freak me out. My wife.

SPEAKER_04 25:31

And um She she asked me to be here, so I know.

SPEAKER_08 25:35

I and she said you were gonna be here, and for some reason I I just I thought you weren't because I I didn't see you come in and it was just very is that is that Derek or someone else?

SPEAKER_12 25:45

Let's just make Okay. Thank goodness. I'm going back to sleep.

SPEAKER_04 25:49

Yeah, just sleep. Uh so uh I used that lotion you recommended. Yeah, how did it work? Oh no, it's on my hand right now. So you said my hands were too dry last time, so Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 26:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 26:04

Great. Thank you. Thank you. I'm glad you have this. Uh sorry.

SPEAKER_12 26:08

Jake, I just remembered something in the middle of my dream. Did did Derek try the new lotion that you recommended?

SPEAKER_08 26:14

Yes, yes, he said he's trying it right now. Okay, okay. It feels great. Okay. Thank you for recommending it. I'll put it on the Senate port okay. Please just sleep.

SPEAKER_09 26:24

That scene, Dan.

SPEAKER_08 26:26

It makes me very uncomfortable. I don't I didn't intend to like mention my actual wife and bring her into the body. I was very surprised you didn't. That was I was like, it was wild. Well, you you said Jake and Derek in his bed. I'm like, well, my wife's in my bed. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_04 26:43

I'm so sorry I said lotion.

SPEAKER_12 26:45

I regretted that as soon as it came out of here. How how will it feel knowing that I have portrayed her now as a character?

SPEAKER_08 26:52

Um I don't know. I don't know that she'll ever find out.

SPEAKER_04 26:58

We'll just let that one slide. She's not gonna listen. That was arguably one of the weirder scenes I've been a part of. I don't know if I don't know if I've ever like my s my intestines were shaking. I think it's the best way to describe it.

SPEAKER_01 27:09

Because the lotion's that good, or what?

SPEAKER_04 27:12

Yeah. Well, uh no. Just I think when you mentioned your real wife, I was like, I was like, oh my god. I'm like, oh, now I'm imagining that I'm under the covers. Like, like I imagined like I was like down like at your feet, like reaching up and holding your hand, like asleep, like in your like a like Ebenezer Scrooge style like pajamas.

SPEAKER_08 27:35

From Desert Star Scrooge. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_04 27:38

That's the only one that exists, obviously. And then he's just like wearing one of those like eye nuts things.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

You think you've seen a Christmas Carol, but not like this.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

Not like this. Not with the man under the covers holding his hands.

SPEAKER_11 27:51

Not with Derek playing himself.

SPEAKER_08 27:53

It's one of the difficult things for me with improv, it's like I gotta say what's on my mind. And then it just comes out, and I'm like, I didn't want to.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

That's my real human wife.

SPEAKER_08 28:01

That's like I didn't want to merge reality with if you'd like an uncomfortable weird situation.

SPEAKER_12 28:07

Bleep out the name case. I could. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

That could be nice. I really like and I respect and I think that maybe out of respect to c we should probably bleach it.

SPEAKER_12 28:24

Oh my gosh. Oh, that was beautiful singing that no one will ever hear.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

Wait, I'm gonna do the Zara Larson riff, but it's gonna be so you can't prove it.

SPEAKER_12 28:35

Oh it was really good. But there was nothing to bleed. There was nothing to bleed.

SPEAKER_06 28:40

It's yes, yeah, and you said it was improv.

SPEAKER_04 28:48

So you guys know the deal. We had someone else on this podcast. You don't? We had a friend Sophie on last week, and uh she described Salt for Us. She described Salt for Us using one word as as is supposed to be done. You guys were like sharing a weird look I don't know what just happened.

SPEAKER_08 29:08

I just can I just say first, please. Yeah um after the first bit where you guys talk and and we sit here awkwardly watching, um let's pull back this curtain. Aside from that, talking about salt is my favorite part of the podcast. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_12 29:31

So we're about to get into it.

SPEAKER_04 29:32

I was literally going to.

SPEAKER_12 29:34

We're about to get into the stretch of time where that happens.

SPEAKER_04 29:36

I know. Yeah. You were just excited, you were expressing your excitement? No, I was sarcastic. You being sarcastic? Uh, this is an insane episode already, and we've just begun. So the word that she gave us, I just don't get it.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 29:53

She gave us the word sharp.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Sharp.

SPEAKER_04 29:58

Sharp.

SPEAKER_12 29:59

So to you two.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

That sounds like a you problem, Sophie.

SPEAKER_12 30:03

Oh, I thought you were gonna say me. I was like, no, that's why you're here.

SPEAKER_01 30:06

That's the whole point. You guys need to figure that out, because I don't know what that's about.

SPEAKER_12 30:11

But how how good of a how good of a job does that word do at describing salt?

SPEAKER_08 30:16

Well, it's sharp, like salt is crystallized, right?

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 30:22

It has to have sharp edges.

SPEAKER_04 30:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

If if you're a bug.

SPEAKER_04 30:28

Yeah. Oh. Are you a bug?

SPEAKER_06 30:32

We find ourselves as bugs. Ow! It's so sharp! Ooh! Is that we find ourselves back in the studio? Welcome back to the studio.

SPEAKER_08 30:50

Rio's like, I don't know how to do this, but I'm gonna do it. Nope, didn't work.

SPEAKER_04 30:55

Very nice. Uh that was an insane scene. Congratulations. Very good. Very good. I didn't even get to say what kind of bug I was. No one cares.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

We find ourselves as bugs a second time, apologetically. I'm a draft-necked weasel. Stop talking about a bug.

SPEAKER_06 31:13

This guy's not even a bug, he's a weasel.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

We find ourselves as bugs beating up a weasel. No, take it, little weasel.

SPEAKER_06 31:22

Get it like that. Stop a little bit. Let us throw the hard bug access.

SPEAKER_04 31:31

That's the end of that scene.

SPEAKER_08 31:36

I like how we talked about how we would end scenes right after they start before we started this. And then we've got to be a few. And now we've done it like five times.

SPEAKER_12 31:44

We sure have done that. Oh my. Well, sharp. So sharp, it's it's are you saying that it's only good if you're a bug? It's only a good word?

SPEAKER_01 31:54

I just I've never experienced sharp cut from salt.

SPEAKER_08 32:00

Does it have to be a cut? Like, does it have to be cut inducing to be sharp? Like you could take a sharp turn. Yeah. That's also true. That's true. That's true. Like it could just be a sharp angle.

SPEAKER_12 32:10

I was gonna say that the thing that that rem the the word sharp in context of salt reminds me of is the phrase salt and putting salt in a wound.

SPEAKER_08 32:21

Oh yeah. Yeah, you could have a sharp pain from having salt in your- That's like so toddler though.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

If you're well, I don't know, it's how I don't know, you're like getting salt putting your wound, you're like, oh, it's sharp.

SPEAKER_12 32:35

Well, but you to get the wound, you had to get a sharp thing. That's what I'm saying, is like a sharp thing cut.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Just saying what it reminds me of. Even from I not my father's daughter.

SPEAKER_04 32:50

It could also be It could also be like when you eat too much salt, it's like a sharp feeling in your mouth.

SPEAKER_01 32:58

I was gonna say I did have you know maybe if you eat too much salt, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 33:03

Yeah, it's a little short.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

I had a friend in college who had a salt lamp and she ate it. Whoa, what? Over the course of the school year.

SPEAKER_04 33:13

Like a Himalayan salt lamp?

SPEAKER_01 33:15

Yeah, she had like a Himalayan line. She's still alive. Yeah, no, she's good. So I could ask her if that like if that sliced up her mouth real good, but I realized it like second semester, I was like, hey, is your salt lamp? Did you get a new salt lamp? It's like way smaller, and she was like kind of standoffish about it, and then she did eventually admit to me that she licks it a couple times before bed. She licks it?

SPEAKER_11 33:36

She licks it a couple of things. I'm so serious.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

She licks it a couple times before before bed, and she's like, Yeah, I'm on my like sixth assault lamp. What?

SPEAKER_09 33:44

What? Yeah. That person is like a big thing.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

It's like one every couple of years.

SPEAKER_12 33:49

I have news for you. Your roommate was a horse.

SPEAKER_08 33:54

This is like an animal that goes to a salt lick and just like weird.

SPEAKER_04 33:59

We find ourselves in a dormitory where someone has just found out their roommate is a horse.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Hey Jenny, how's it going?

SPEAKER_12 34:07

Nothing.

SPEAKER_13 34:08

Nothing.

unknown 34:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Jenny, that's great. I just sorry, I don't usually like peek my head into your room or anything.

SPEAKER_13 34:14

Hey, gold delivery. Yeah, yeah. You could just Salt Lamp? Salt lamp for Jenny? Yeah, that's me.

SPEAKER_04 34:22

You've been ordering these a lot lately.

SPEAKER_13 34:24

You've been stressed?

SPEAKER_04 34:27

One of those UBS drivers who really likes to make conversation.

SPEAKER_12 34:29

Yeah, it's fine though.

SPEAKER_08 34:31

This is a girl's dorm. Get out of here, you creep. Yeah, what? Can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to sleep.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Amy. Okay. Okay, Amy sucks. We can always read Amy's the person. It's 9 p.m. and quiet hours aren't until 9.05. The freaking.

unknown 34:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 34:46

Guys, uh everybody knows she's a horse. Why? How are you just figuring this out right now? No one had figured it out yet.

SPEAKER_04 34:58

I'm another UBS driver. I've got a bushel of hay.

SPEAKER_12 35:02

Wow, that must be for somewhere else.

SPEAKER_04 35:04

Uh no, it says it's for Jenny the horse.

SPEAKER_12 35:07

I hate my life. Amy, you literally could sleep in your own bedroom instead of on the community couch. Amy, I can't sleep in my own bedroom.

SPEAKER_08 35:19

My roommate is a monster.

SPEAKER_12 35:22

Wait, you know that Elizabeth is a monster?

SPEAKER_01 35:24

What?

SPEAKER_03 35:25

Everyone, I'm really tired. I have a test in the morning.

SPEAKER_12 35:29

Elizabeth, stop following me. I will eat your brains. Oh. Wait, so you know that I'm a horse and you knew that Elizabeth was a monster. What does that make you, Marsha? One.

SPEAKER_06 35:45

Heck of a lay. Dad, please don't watch the podcast. I told you not to, and then you deliberately went to Spotify and you looked up the scribes all. Jake Ulis Vintage comma, Real of Fever. You looked it up, and I told you not to do that.

SPEAKER_08 36:07

Real Zoe. I'm 26 years old. I can say I'm looking. Let's keep it clean, you guys. I was not expecting that.

SPEAKER_04 36:15

I was so ready to keep that scene going for a long time. You put the craziest button on that scene. What a school. You got a horse? British UPS drivers.

SPEAKER_07 36:31

And Amy's just like there.

SPEAKER_04 36:35

Oh yeah, we didn't discover what Amy is. She's just tired. Yeah, Amy's a ghost hunter.

SPEAKER_09 36:43

Were all of them ghosts? What if all of them were ghosts?

SPEAKER_12 36:46

She just knows how to track things in general. Wow, that was fun. Okay. Um Did you just say what if we're all ghosts?

SPEAKER_01 36:55

What if all of the characters are ghosts? What if it was the same dorm, same scene, but they were also all ghosts? Ooh.

SPEAKER_08 37:08

Yeah, we know. Oh.

SPEAKER_09 37:10

You guys, I'm not ghost hunting right now. Uh I have a delivery of uh ectoplasm.

SPEAKER_04 37:18

Anybody order?

unknown 37:19

Not mine.

SPEAKER_09 37:23

Alright. What? Okay.

SPEAKER_08 37:25

It's really late for deliveries. Why are you doing this now? You couldn't wait till the morning. Round the clock. Round the clock, baby. That's the motto of UPS.

SPEAKER_12 37:34

UPS. Round the clock.

SPEAKER_08 37:35

I didn't ask for UPS. I asked for FedEx.

SPEAKER_12 37:40

Hey, uh, FedEx here. I've got some ectoplasm. Oh, that one's mine. Oh, okay. Here you go.

SPEAKER_08 37:45

But I asked for FedEx. Did you get my ectoplasm and I got yours? Let me take a look. Oh, this one's green. Mine was red. Oh, mine is red. Why did I get UPS and you got FedEx? I wanted FedEx.

SPEAKER_12 38:00

That's the motto of FedEx. You get what you get. FedEx. You get what you get.

SPEAKER_03 38:06

Oh, I love FedEx drivers.

SPEAKER_04 38:10

Bye. Thank you. Hey, says the Ghostbusters. Oh, that was a crazy scream. Dude, you're putting the greatest buttons.

SPEAKER_12 38:28

This is a good thing to know about Rio, actually. Is that we were just talking about this earlier today.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

That's my catchphrase. Real fever. Buttons.

SPEAKER_12 38:34

No. I was gonna say I was gonna say that you would be one of a goal of yours in life is to be a scream queen. Buttons!

SPEAKER_08 38:46

Oh Dan's trying to get a like a realistic.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

Oh, yes, my I'm trying to get back into a conversation. Yes, my dream is to be a scream queen.

SPEAKER_04 38:56

Okay. So like you want to be in a situation in which you're being chased down by a murderous killer of some sort. In a movie. Rio is an actor. Oh, sorry. I take everything incredibly literally. That would actually be sick. And I feel like you would fit in great. Do you want to be in the movie Scream? That'd be so cool. Scream eight or apparently scream seven.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

I I literally wrote a parody musical of Scream, and I feel like I'm not gonna see the new one. Like that's how kind of like I'm kind of about it.

SPEAKER_04 39:26

Yeah, the last couple have kind of just gone downhill.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

But we don't need three white men talking about movies right now.

SPEAKER_04 39:31

Oh my god. I literally have a horror movie review podcast. Apologies. But that's only two. Apologies. Well, sometimes it's three. I have guests on. You were guest on it. That's true. Long time ago. Before we ever started this podcast, actually. That's true. Like two weeks before. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

You can talk about movies. I don't mean to say that.

SPEAKER_12 39:49

We can talk about what?

SPEAKER_01 39:50

You can talk about movies.

SPEAKER_12 39:51

Oh. Can we?

SPEAKER_01 39:52

Yeah, you can.

SPEAKER_12 39:53

I'd like to talk about movies and stuff. What's your favorite movie?

SPEAKER_01 39:55

Favorite movie?

SPEAKER_12 39:57

Yeah. I feel like I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 39:58

I just quoted Scream.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

I think my Letterbox top four is Do I follow you on Letterboxd?

SPEAKER_04 40:06

I don't think I do. What's Letterboxd? I gotta follow you.

SPEAKER_01 40:08

Is that a movie reviewing at my only social media?

SPEAKER_04 40:10

Social media for reviewing movies.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

It's uh Jim Carrey's The Mask.

SPEAKER_04 40:14

Oh, wild.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

Um the horror movie X. The horror movie Heritage. No, I like X better.

SPEAKER_04 40:20

Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

I know for a theater girl, I like X.

SPEAKER_04 40:23

Okay, we need to take this conversation off the line, and you probably need to come on my horror podcast because we'd love to, actually, genuinely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

And I'm sorry, I insulted the respectable genre of men who talk about this.

SPEAKER_04 40:33

You know anyway, so those sorry, yes, continue.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

And then Creature from the Black Lagoon. I think is my top top four.

SPEAKER_04 40:40

Fantastic choices.

SPEAKER_12 40:41

Fantastic choice.

SPEAKER_08 40:41

It's really interesting.

SPEAKER_12 40:42

Yeah. And Cars 2.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

That's the only one.

SPEAKER_12 40:48

When I was like trying to figure out what's your favorite, I was trying to figure out if I knew your favorite movie, and for some reason the only one that popped into my mind was Cars 2.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

I don't know why. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_08 40:59

Rio disagrees, and I know that's fine. I know that mine. Don't look at me like you've never heard that before.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

I really like Cars 2.

SPEAKER_08 41:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

It's the only one I've like consistently re-watched. It's probably my most watched Pixar movie. I love Cars 2. That's pretty wild. That's Cars 2.

SPEAKER_04 41:17

One of my favorite things about Carson and Letterboxd. So Letterboxd at the end of the year will do like a review, like it will like show you who your most watched director or actor was. Uh-huh. And one year I went through and binged every single car short, like all the Mater shorts. And I vlogged each one.

SPEAKER_01 41:37

If I'm lying, I'm crying.

SPEAKER_04 41:39

If I'm lying, I'm crying. And so good. Mater and the Ghost Light.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

I was just gonna say Mary to Ghost Light for it. Can I come on your podcast and talk about Mater and the Ghost Light?

SPEAKER_04 41:50

Freaking do it. Let's do it. Schedule right now. Anyway.

SPEAKER_01 41:52

I love booking podcasts.

SPEAKER_08 41:54

Yeah, while you're on that podcast, I love being on a podcast talking about a different podcast. This is great.

SPEAKER_12 42:00

This is exactly what podcasts were invented for. To talk about each other. Anyway.

SPEAKER_04 42:05

Yeah. So at the end of the day, who's the guy who plays him? Uh Larry the Cable Guy. Larry the Cable Guy. At the end of the year, my top watched actor was Larry the Cable Guy.

SPEAKER_11 42:14

Daniel Whitney. Is that his real name? That's his real name. I didn't know that. Wow.

SPEAKER_08 42:20

Leave it to Dan. Yeah. To bring out the facts.

SPEAKER_12 42:24

Oh, this Dan. Yeah. Not Daniel Whitney. Not Daniel Whitney.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

All Dan's know all other Danes. Do you have to dance?

SPEAKER_12 42:35

You know how Sorry, I don't know if you're going to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 42:38

That's one small step for Dan.

SPEAKER_08 42:40

Is this all Dan's one big step for Dankind? Does this include all Daniels who don't always go by Dan? Oh, of course it does.

SPEAKER_11 42:48

Oh.

SPEAKER_08 42:49

Of course it does. You don't have to go by Dan. That's true. So it includes all Daniels, even if they don't go by Dan at all.

SPEAKER_12 42:55

Indeed. Because at some point they could become a Dan. It happens to a lot of people. It does happen, yeah. I was never a Dan until 18. Were you Danny? I've never been Danny, ever. No. But I was Daniel for a long, long time. And then it just switched to Dan. I think now I'm still Daniel in my family. But uh just Dan. I thought it was a bad thing. No, it's just my dad. It's just my dad that calls me about my house. You can have that. Oh, I'm still. And like sometimes I like my grandpa. Okay. I'm so happy. But he's just really bad with names mostly. And that was his dad's name, so it gets confusing.

SPEAKER_04 43:32

But wild. So Larry the Cable Guy. I when I was a kid, I I my we had a VHS copy of The Cable Guy with Jim Carrey. Yes. And I thought it was the same person. I did too for a long time.

SPEAKER_12 43:47

I thought that was like his first role, and that was like how he got his name. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:51

And now I have Jim Carrey tattooed on my leg. Do you? Mm-hmm. What? I have a panel from the True Chapter.

SPEAKER_06 43:56

I think I used to leg reveal. That's right there.

SPEAKER_04 44:00

Put it in front of the camera. I don't want to actually show you my calf right now. This is terrible audio content. That's Jim Carrey, dog. He's walking up the city.

SPEAKER_06 44:06

There he is. Show me your calf.

SPEAKER_04 44:08

Oh my god. It's him walking up the stairs at the end of Truman Show. That's right, cool. Sorry, you you're at the bad angle too.

SPEAKER_08 44:15

I know the I know the image in my head. I like the Truman Show.

SPEAKER_04 44:18

Truman Show is one of my favorite movies, if not my favorite movie of all time. Except for Lala Land. They kind of switch back and forth. Oh, really? I did not know that. I love La La Land with all of my heart. Oh. Watching the two of them almost love each other for the rest of them lives. It just really gets my goat. Hopeless Romantic. That's me. I feel like the panelists turned to me. We are staring at you. You are all staring at me. I feel like all of you hate La La.

SPEAKER_12 44:45

No, no. We find ourselves at a tribunal where a man must answer for his favorite movie being La La Land.

SPEAKER_08 44:54

Alright. The honorable Judge Alpheus presiding. Take a seat, take a seat. We don't need to be formal here.

SPEAKER_11 45:05

Okay, actually. You sick freak.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

The judge is talking.

SPEAKER_12 45:10

I will have order. I will have order. Sorry. Please state your name into the microphone.

SPEAKER_06 45:19

Freddie Fazbear.

SPEAKER_08 45:23

Freddie Fazbear? Your Honor. That's what I want to do. Your honor. What? What? All these interruptions, really? Okay. I will. My client deserves the utmost respect for you.

SPEAKER_12 45:33

I just smoked so much salmon. Yeah, it's it's it's sorry. Disregard the torch.

SPEAKER_06 45:40

They told me I had to be here.

SPEAKER_12 45:42

You have to be here. We need a security guard. It's not that important for this.

SPEAKER_04 45:46

Yes. Oh, you really smoked that salmon. My name is actually Freddie Pazbearer, not to be confused with the Pizzeria. It's fine. It's fine.

SPEAKER_12 45:54

Alright. Look, I I I think this this can be done quickly. We can do this quick. We can get it over with. Please, would you mind telling me what you claim your favorite movie to be?

SPEAKER_04 46:05

Well, it's obviously the modern classic La La Land by Damien Giselle. Sonaba.

SPEAKER_12 46:10

Your Honor. Your Honor. What? What objection? Objection on what grounds?

SPEAKER_08 46:16

The grounds of Brooklyn, Your Honor.

SPEAKER_04 46:18

What about Brooklyn? Don't you dare. Don't you dare.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

The second biggest offense is liking newsies, you sick freak.

SPEAKER_08 46:31

My client is innocent until proven guilty. And your bias is not an acceptable form of law enforcement.

SPEAKER_12 46:48

You want to question my bias? You want to question my bias here at the tribunal? We are at the tribunal. You could have brought this up weeks beforehand, but instead, you want to bring up the grounds of Brooklyn on a tribunal about a movie about Los Angeles. You hear this right now? You hear the women weeping in the back of the room.

SPEAKER_08 47:10

Judge, you were not clear in the affidavit when it was turned in. You were not forthcoming with your biases on this matter.

SPEAKER_12 47:21

Well, it seems I don't know you as well as I was as well as I thought I did. My ears are attorney.

SPEAKER_08 47:31

We don't have to make this personal appearance.

SPEAKER_12 47:34

I agree. I agree. I find the the defendant guilty on all charges of having a bad favorite movie. It is a travesty. And I will be sentencing him to three years without a letterbox. Case closed.

SPEAKER_04 47:57

That would actually and that's it. That would actually kill me. I love letterbox so much, dude. My movie watching is gone up to that. That being said, La La Land is a great movie.

SPEAKER_12 48:07

Yeah, it's a lovely movie. I do like La La Land. I totally really like that movie. Oh, we didn't make a joke about. Oh, wait, sorry. It's not La La Land. It's Moonlight.

SPEAKER_04 48:16

Oh. That would've killed. That would have killed. That joke for like 20% of our audience would have been really funny. Everyone else would have been like, what? I feel like it's a lot of.

SPEAKER_12 48:26

That's pretty big.

SPEAKER_04 48:28

I think it's over 30.

SPEAKER_12 48:31

The Oscars. Moonlight was great. Every three years, something happens at the Oscars that everyone knows about.

SPEAKER_04 48:36

Yeah, like the slap.

SPEAKER_12 48:37

The slap. That means we're due for one this year. That's true. That is exciting. It's approximately every three years. Was it three years ago that the slap happened? I think it's four actually.

SPEAKER_01 48:49

Predictions. What's going to happen in the year?

SPEAKER_12 48:51

Yeah, prediction. What's the thing? What's the thing that everyone in the country is going to know about? No, it's coming up. It's coming up in like two weeks. It's this weekend. It's this weekend. Wow. Which is bad because I still have two movies to watch.

SPEAKER_08 49:02

I think someone's going to collapse on stage.

SPEAKER_12 49:04

Whoa. Okay. Next prediction. Who? I don't know. Whose medical history are you calling it?

SPEAKER_08 49:12

Who's up for awards?

SPEAKER_04 49:14

Timothy Chalonet is going to collapse, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_06 49:16

Timothy Chalonet is going to collapse.

SPEAKER_04 49:19

Stellan Starsgard. He's pretty old. Oh, he's pretty old. He totally collapsed.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

Who's the most collapsible Oscar nominee?

SPEAKER_04 49:27

This is a crazy conversation you're wrapping up. How about he up for this? What was I doing? Oh, yeah, it was uh the one about family uh sentimental value. Sentimental value. That was good. That was really good.

SPEAKER_12 49:39

How about how about not? I like I like the idea of it being Stellan Skarsgard that this thing happens to, but not I don't want Stellan Skarsgard to collapse. No, meaning that's the same. So what's a thing that he could do? Yeah, I don't either.

SPEAKER_04 49:51

I know he's gonna walk on stage drunk and tell Timothy Chalamet that he's in love with him because of his performance in Marty Supreme. Timothy.

SPEAKER_08 50:01

Now you're just trying to like be weird. But it's kind of true.

SPEAKER_04 50:06

Okay, yeah, that's not a genuine portion. That's not a genuine thing that could have.

SPEAKER_12 50:12

Let's workshop this. What do you think Stellan Skarsgard could realistically do? He could trip. He could trip and like almost fall. That happened to uh Jennifer Lawrence. That was a lot of people. Yeah, like Jennifer Lawrence. I just want like a positive thing so badly.

SPEAKER_01 50:25

Stellan, yeah, something awesome and exciting that the internet would freak out about that's good.

SPEAKER_04 50:29

And stop talking about all the shit we are talking about currently. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 50:33

Stellan Skarsgard.

SPEAKER_04 50:36

Let's all think about Stellin Skarsgard for a while. I'm on my own. Okay, so in order for something about him, he would have to win, right? Yeah, you would have to win something. He would have to win. Or he's going to win.

SPEAKER_12 50:47

Or he loses and he does something when they have all five of them on screen at once.

SPEAKER_08 50:53

He leaves.

SPEAKER_12 50:54

He leaves. Mike. Just immediately leaves.

SPEAKER_08 50:59

He sprints out. And leaves.

SPEAKER_12 51:01

Just absolutely, and he's doing this. He's like waiting. And then they announce it and he just runs out of the theater as fast as he can.

SPEAKER_08 51:13

I like that image. And then we never see him again. Absolutely. But it would be really awesome if he did like just like just get up as if he was like, well, at this point in me being here.

SPEAKER_04 51:30

At the State of the Union? Didn't some guy like yell and then got taken off and he hasn't been seen since? Hasn't been seen since? Yeah, they like got rid of him. They they kicked Al Green out, but I don't they they've seen Al Green since. I don't know. You don't trust anything in the internet nowadays. Uh if I used AI, I would probably do an AI video of uh Stone Scarzheart telling Marty Supreme Timothy Shalmay that he loved his performance and is in love with him. I'm glad you're not allowed to use AI in any. And then running. And then running out.

SPEAKER_12 51:56

And the running.

SPEAKER_08 51:57

You're not allowed to use AI.

SPEAKER_12 52:00

No. It's just a house rule. It's not like a big thing. It's just like a little silly. He gets in legal trouble when he uses AI. Don't say that.

SPEAKER_04 52:10

Don't incriminate me. Two episodes in a row, you're incriminating me. In the last episode, you incriminated me too. I think that it's time. It's time. I think it's time. Oh, it's time. Well. Unless anybody has any anecdotes. Just keep bringing this up.

SPEAKER_12 52:26

Does anybody have any anecdotes they want to share before we get into the meat of the episode?

SPEAKER_08 52:31

Just in general, anecdote? Any anecdote? This is a running thing at this point.

SPEAKER_04 52:37

I'm interviewing, I'm I'm doing an interview for for That Was Horrible Tomorrow, where we're interviewing a guy named Brett Brett Bent Bentman. Sorry if I got your name wrong. He just released is Brett Bentman. I think so. Yeah, for B22 Films. It was totally on a whim. I reached out to their Instagram after watching a movie. I feel like I can't tell you how I felt about the movie because I'm interviewing tomorrow. Um but we watched his version.

SPEAKER_01 53:01

Oh, that's incriminating.

SPEAKER_04 53:03

It's called Betty's Revenge. It's a movie about Betty Boop being a serial killer. And then we're public domain. I got that guy. Oh, this is like if you guys it's the same studio, right? It's not they're partnered with that same studio.

SPEAKER_12 53:18

Oh, okay. Okay. So it's not the same studio as like Blood and Honey.

SPEAKER_01 53:23

Oh, just doing a bunch of like domain horror movies.

SPEAKER_04 53:26

Yeah, so then he also did one about Aladdin. Did he do Peter Pan? He did do a Peter Pan one, I'm pretty sure. Was it the one we watched? It was not the one we watched. But point is, I'm interviewing him tomorrow, and every fiber of my being is struggling to not just be like, so you have any anecdotes, man?

SPEAKER_01 53:46

Any anecdotes?

SPEAKER_08 53:47

This is the thing that When you ask for anecdotes, what are you hoping for?

SPEAKER_12 53:50

That's what I'm wondering.

SPEAKER_08 53:51

Are you hoping that someone like brings up an antidote anecdote and then makes a I've brought an antidote to function?

SPEAKER_06 54:00

Did you need an antidote?

SPEAKER_03 54:03

I did get poison three.

SPEAKER_06 54:07

What seems to be troubling you?

SPEAKER_03 54:09

I've got a rumbly tummy.

SPEAKER_04 54:13

Do you have any metabol?

SPEAKER_06 54:16

No, but I do have this delicious salt lamp.

SPEAKER_10 54:19

I've got musils here. Mussels, metamusles, dormant musles. Ooh. Oh, I'll take a metamusle. Alright. How much? Uh, just whatever you got. Nothing. Ah, dang it. I need to stop saying that.

SPEAKER_04 54:36

That was the most like fifth grade improv scene I think I've been a part of since like fifth grade.

SPEAKER_10 54:41

Fifth grade?

SPEAKER_06 54:41

Fifth graders don't know about meta musle.

SPEAKER_04 54:45

Okay, like beginner improv in high school.

SPEAKER_07 54:47

I just couldn't. I I was like, what is happening in this?

SPEAKER_04 54:51

Alright, well, it is now time. It is time. Thankfully. It's time. Well, you don't want to talk about Lala Land?

SPEAKER_08 54:58

I don't know what it's time for, but we gotta move around. Real.

SPEAKER_12 55:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 55:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_12 55:04

Please take a step up to our sodium podium.

SPEAKER_01 55:08

It's kinda high up here.

SPEAKER_04 55:11

Yeah. We raise it after every episode, so it's even higher and higher.

SPEAKER_12 55:16

Yeah. And if you would be so kind, in one word or less, describe assault.

SPEAKER_04 55:25

One more time.

SPEAKER_06 55:30

It's good. It's good. It's good. Boy, that's all it's good.

SPEAKER_09 55:35

The word is good.

SPEAKER_12 55:40

I love it. Jake. Can you be can you be afraid of it? Stop crying. Stop crying. The tears are crying.

SPEAKER_01 55:48

What are you talking about? Stop crying. I came up with a better word than you did in your two episodes. It's okay.

SPEAKER_08 55:57

I only had one episode. This is my second time being here.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

It's good.

SPEAKER_08 56:01

You call yourself a listener of the podcast. Anyway, Jake, what do you think of that word? What do I think of that word? I think it's not. I think it's two words in one, and that's cheating. That's what I think.

SPEAKER_12 56:17

We've always left it up to the proclaimer of the word. Yeah. We we provide the parameters and then cheating. And then it's Rio, stop crying. Rio. Jake. Jake, you made Rio cry by specifically throw it up and I'm gonna do it. Don't ask for my opinion if you don't want the consequences.

SPEAKER_08 56:38

By shutting down the fact that you're gonna go to the right. If you want my opinion, I'm gonna give you my opinion. I'm not gonna just Rio here. I'm not just gonna sugarcoat everything. I'm not gonna salt coat everything either. Don't ask for my opinion and then and then shame me for giving you. You know what? You know what?

SPEAKER_12 56:55

Jacos, you know what? I won't ask your opinion ever again. Thank you. Oh. Dang, I thought that was gonna sting a little.

SPEAKER_01 57:05

Like salt in a wound.

SPEAKER_12 57:06

Like salt in a wound. It's gonna sharp a little. So I'm kind of stuck, I guess. We do have to get to the point. We do have to title the episode. How would you spell scud!

unknown 57:19

Scood!

SPEAKER_06 57:22

Is it apostrophe cheating or not?

SPEAKER_12 57:25

It's fine. Like I said, we we provided the parameters and it's up to you.

SPEAKER_01 57:30

You didn't like my last. So an apostrophe is not cheating?

SPEAKER_12 57:33

No. It's whatever you think is.

SPEAKER_08 57:36

Are you asking me for my opinion?

SPEAKER_01 57:37

No.

SPEAKER_12 57:40

You seemed more hurt that she wasn't asking your opinion than when I said that I wasn't asking for your opinion.

SPEAKER_08 57:48

It was more annoying.

SPEAKER_01 57:49

How would I spell it?

SPEAKER_09 57:50

How would you spell it? Spell it right now.

SPEAKER_12 57:52

Um This isn't a trick. If you're asking about apostrophe, yeah, it's not. We just genuinely need to title the episode.

SPEAKER_01 58:01

Um well I'm just not sure if it should be like two apostrophes, but that seems to be a good idea.

SPEAKER_08 58:06

Like apostrophe, S apostrophe, G.

SPEAKER_12 58:08

I've got yeah, I've got my idea when w is is S apostrophe good. It's good. I don't know. Well there is like a little T though. And I don't know like a T. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:18

So you're wondering if it's it's good, but it's all combined into one word. And but it's not cheating.

SPEAKER_12 58:25

So you're thinking T apostrophe S apostrophe good. It's good. It's good.

SPEAKER_06 58:32

Is that cheating? No.

SPEAKER_12 58:33

It's up to you. It's up to you. You didn't use two words. That's a lot of apostrophes.

SPEAKER_06 58:39

You can also just say good.

SPEAKER_12 58:42

No. That's not what you said though. You said scud.

unknown 58:44

It's good.

SPEAKER_01 58:45

And that's just part of it. It is.

SPEAKER_04 58:47

So I heard it like an SK.

SPEAKER_01 58:51

Skud.

SPEAKER_06 58:52

Well, it's not scud. Isn't that the dog from Toy Story that almost eats Woody? No. Is it? Scud? Scud. Get over here.

SPEAKER_04 59:03

That's a terrible dog name.

SPEAKER_06 59:05

It can't possibly be no way. It's 1000% Scud. I'm so serious.

SPEAKER_04 59:10

We take you now to the Walt Disney Company as they are deciding what to name all of the animals within the Toy Story universe.

SPEAKER_08 59:18

Guys, guys, I've been thinking about this all night long, and I finally got I've got the perfect name for the code. Which animal? Wait, which animal? The dog? The dog. Thank goodness I have been racking my brain.

SPEAKER_01 59:29

The big gross one or the cute little wiener dog?

SPEAKER_08 59:31

The cute little wiener dog. No, no, no, the big gross one. Oh, the big gross one. Good, good, good. Good. We have it's been tough. As you're nice.

SPEAKER_07 59:39

Yeah. You're gonna love this. Okay, give it to us. Scood.

SPEAKER_05 59:44

Right? Right? Scood. Good. Yeah. You know the neighborhood. Come on, Scood.

SPEAKER_09 59:54

So good.

SPEAKER_04 59:56

Hey, uh, hey Frank. Would you mind grabbing us just like a couple drinks, real quick? I know you just came from there. Um, would you mind just grabbing us a couple drinks?

SPEAKER_08 1:00:04

Just a couple of coffees.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:06

Or just whatever drinks they have. Whatever drinks they have, just grab a drink.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:09

Yeah, yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys not? No, we love it. We love it. We love it.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:15

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're just we want to celebrate. We want to celebrate.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:20

Okay, yeah, okay. Yeah, all right. Thanks for watching. I'll be right back. Hold on. A mountain dew, just whatever. Okay, just whatever. Just whatever they get. Whatever's better. Whatever is better. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:30

Thanks Frank. Thanks, Frank. Oh, yeah. I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:37

So scared, though. Oh, Walt, thanks for getting him out of here. Yeah, no problem. Hate that guy. Roy, Walt. I've been.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:45

Quick question, guys. Oh, buddy. Hey, uh, the Mountain Dew, did you want a uh uh diet?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:50

Or do the Ruby stuff?

SPEAKER_08 1:00:52

Did you want Ruby Red?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:53

No, Amalt Disney, you know I I drink the special flavor.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:57

Cigarette flavor. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:00

It's on tap for me, straight from Pepsi.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:02

Skud. That's good. Yeah, skid. Oh, it's good.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:09

What does Skud even mean? I mean, that's like a skid mark. Scud. Scood.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:14

I see, and here's what I'm worried about is that the nasty little kid's name is already Sid, and then your name is dog Sco.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:21

You almost wonder if maybe maybe Frank came up with the word SCUD because he thought Sid on to Oh.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:30

Uh Mr. Disney, um Frank is in the bathroom and making some noises. Is he making puppets again? It sounds like he's throwing it. Oh, oh my. Um, and crying. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:46

What the shit?

SPEAKER_08 1:01:47

And possibly breaking things. Oh, he might have drank the cigarette mountain dew.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:51

I think he might have drank the that's really only for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:54

It's well, really only for Walt, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:56

He did have a Mountain Dew when he went in. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:00

Well, that explains a lot.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:01

But he was also yelling.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:03

Could you could you very angrily? Marie, Marie, could you could you do us a favor?

SPEAKER_08 1:02:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:12

Could you and I think we all we can all agree on what I'm about to say.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:20

Could you could you lock that bathroom door?

SPEAKER_08 1:02:24

Oh, of course.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:26

Use the master lock?

SPEAKER_08 1:02:27

Yes, of course.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:28

And um cut off the airways. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:32

And just let him sink.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:35

You always know what to do, Mickey. Thanks. You know it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:40

Gorsh.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:42

Gorsh.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:42

Gorsh, am I right? Quack. Ha ha. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:45

Okay, so we gotta come up with a better name than Scud. We really do.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:49

Scud. Other dog names. Other dog names. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:54

And it's it does need to be It's gotta be kind of nasty, but not Bone Bones, bones, bones is dumb. Bones.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:04

Um Bones.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:06

Bones? Bones? Bones? Bones mowers. We could use Frank's bones. We could use Frank's bones.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:13

For the mo cap of the dog?

SPEAKER_12 1:03:15

Yeah. Hey, you know, now that Frank is dead. Yeah. Well, he's probably not dead. Hey guys!

SPEAKER_05 1:03:22

Hey guys. Hey.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:25

Marie was like trying to lock me in the bathroom and it was so funny. It was a funny practical joke. But I just wanted to jump back in and make sure you guys are our things are coming along.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:37

How's Scood how's Scood doing?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:39

Frank, it's not working out, man. You've given us like here, drink the cigarette Mountain Dew. Here you go. Drink it up, but by the power of Walt Disney, I command you to drink this. Okay, bye. Good boy. Drink up now. Good boy. Now into the world of tomorrow.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:07

Am I fired?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:08

Get on Mount Space.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:10

You're dying.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:11

Am I fired and dying?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:14

It's a little bit of both, yeah. You've seen behind the curtain at the studio. You cannot continue to live. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:21

My dad is not gonna be proud of me. I never was.

SPEAKER_11 1:04:26

You don't know that.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:32

Can I just say something?

SPEAKER_11 1:04:34

Yeah, what's up, Mick? Now that Frank's dying in front of us, Scud's starting to grow on me.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:41

I hate to say it. It's kind of working. Now that he's reached the point past save ability.

SPEAKER_11 1:04:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:46

And I got a Do you know what? It's a nasty dog. It's a nasty dog.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:50

Scud. This is just taking the last time. This is just for Toy Story. No one's even gonna like this movie. And the dog's barely in the movie. The dog's barely in the movie. We don't have to do that. No one's gonna like 3D animation.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:02

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

SPEAKER_12 1:05:04

Oh, you're still alive.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:05

Yeah, Frank.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:06

If you do need the dog's, can you write my dad and tell him that it was my idea?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:14

He doesn't know that I'm his father. I don't think he heard. Yeah, he doesn't know.

SPEAKER_12 1:05:17

He doesn't need to know.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:19

I never told him.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:20

Should we tell him before he did it?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:22

Oh, I did try, but he wasn't listening, just like he always does.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:25

Well, I see the light.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:27

Yep. Walk into that, bud.

unknown 1:05:29

I'm going towards it.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:31

Yeah, you'll see your other six siblings there. Go go towards that lit cigarette at the end of the tunnel. Oh, now I'm gonna have to tell his mom. I don't know how to do that. Which one was she? I think she was number three or four. Well Which everyone raised someone and called Scud. Scud is great though.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:55

Yeah. I actually like it.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:56

I like Scud a lot. Yes, Marie?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:58

Marie.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:59

I'm I'm sorry. I wasn't able to lock him in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:04

Oh good.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:06

Is he Oh oh he's here. Yeah, he's here.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:09

Well, he's not really. His body is.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:13

What should I do?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:14

Oh, Marie, Marie. You know what to do. You know what to do. I mean, it's like the easily the eighth or ninth time this is happening.

SPEAKER_12 1:06:22

Incinerate him!

SPEAKER_04 1:06:24

Save his bones, though. Save his bones.

SPEAKER_12 1:06:28

We have a little pet project we're working on with the bones.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:30

Okay, okay, thank you. It's this new thing called Moca. I'll be right on it, Mr. Disney, Mr. Mouse, Mrs. Mouse. Bye. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:40

Wait, hey, get back here. Did you just go goofy, Mrs. Mouse? Goofy.

SPEAKER_12 1:06:46

I'm so Goofy? Is there something you need to tell us?

SPEAKER_08 1:06:50

Go yuck. I am so sorry.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:58

And that is why salt is good.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:01

Skid.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:01

It's good.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:02

I don't know why I'm playing so many women in this podcast. I love it.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:08

It is International Women's Day or it was yesterday. Oh, man. Was it yesterday?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:13

As a woman, I can say when International Women's Day is. It's every day.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:19

Oh, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:20

I just wanted to be clear. I did not come here thinking I'm going to be a woman a lot. It's going to be impressive. No, I think you were.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:28

I think all day you're like preparing yourself. I'm going to be a woman today.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:31

Yeah, I prepared myself for this. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:35

Rio. Yes. Jake. Yes, guys. It's been lovely to have you on the podcast. I don't want to leave. Even though you both hate it profusely. I thought you guys were fun. This was good.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:50

Hey, that was fun. It was super, super fun. And see you probably.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:54

And there was only one really dirty thing that came out, and it was Rio's fault. And it was from Rio. We were all being very careful.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:02

Thank you, everyone.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:03

In case anybody saw it, that yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:06

Really fast, really fast. I do want to I was gonna ask forever ago and then I forgot. Uh since he's here, do you want to review Jake's original word? Ooh! Just really fast, since we're at the end of the house. Do you remember what his word was?

SPEAKER_08 1:08:23

Did she? Someone did.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:25

Off it was off, it was off camera. Do you remember? No, I don't think we did.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:29

I don't think you did. Well, you haven't talked about it. Maybe not. I don't think it was lickable. Right. Or you can look elsewhere for your face. He did tell you to your face what he thought of your word. Oh, rude.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:46

Oh, it's rude when it happens to you. It's rude. It's rude when you ask for uh my opinion and then you disparage me for giving my opinion.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:54

I didn't I didn't disparage.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:56

No one's disparaging anyone.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:57

I'm just saying the same way. You can hate it. It's fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:02

Um actually, I think lickable is a totally fine word. Thank you. I have nothing ill to say about lickable.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:11

I mean, you had a few licked six different salt.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:14

Yeah, no, I I really agree. I think it is quite lickable, and I just really hope that you learn and grow from this experience because I just think it's crazy that I'm the bigger person when I'm just a little bug. Hold on. Thank you so much for listening to Describe Sol.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:35

Alright, alright. Hold on. Though it would be funny to end it there.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:39

I was about ready to.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:41

I mean we can't. No, it's we've already passed it. Now we have to be regular.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:44

I can edit this.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:45

We've got to.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:47

We can do this again and like just pretend that was a scene.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:51

The whole episode.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:52

The whole episode was one screen. Ending the episode was one. So now we're gonna begin. Get up on the sodium podium. No, uh, thank you guys so much for coming on. Uh Rio, will you please, please give me a sign off?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:04

I thought you were gonna ask me to say a closing prayer.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:09

I brought this pizza. Will you bless this pizza? No. Stupid.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:15

Um please bless this.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:16

I have a sign-off.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:18

Oh, yeah. Please bless this salt to nourish and strengthen our bodies.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:22

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:24

Perfect.

SPEAKER_12 1:10:26

Well.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:31

Are you fried? What's going on? We needed, we need to.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:34

It sent me back like 10 inches. We never played, we never read from the Garfield book.

SPEAKER_12 1:10:40

Freak! We gotta start over. I had to read from the Garfield book last time. Bro, you're supposed to ask you what's your goal for the week? What? The podcast still isn't over? It's about to be after you told us the goal for the week.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:53

You know what? You asked her to sign off. She signed off. I signed off. And now you're like, it's not over. Thank you.

SPEAKER_12 1:11:00

Because Derek has to sign off. Did I just call you?

SPEAKER_08 1:11:03

You asked Rio to sign off, and now you want someone else to sign off because this wasn't good enough? Stop yelling at me, it's four in the morning. I'm I am I am rebuking you quietly.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:14

I'm because a little bug.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:17

Rio, Rio, Rio, please. What is love of goal for the week? What is your goal for the week?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:22

My goal for the week?

SPEAKER_11 1:11:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:24

I thought you were asking her to ask you what your goal for the week is.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:30

We're not crazy.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:32

Ask me what my goal for the week is. I want to tell you.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:45

Really thinking hard. No goals. We can edit this out, right? Okay, we can, but we won't. I already have so much editing to do on this episode. Mostly bleeps.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:56

And I say goal, you say for the week, goal. What's that? For the week.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:01

Whoa, again. I thought this was an improv podcast. The improv part is over.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:07

Jake, what's your goal for the week?

SPEAKER_12 1:12:08

Outro music playing for six minutes.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:11

I'm really thinking. My goal for the week? Yeah. You want my goal for the week?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:15

Oh, more than good, good ragtime.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:16

Hold on. Um, what am I in the middle of? Oh, finish my taxes.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:20

Oh, I mean, sure. Actually, I'm just gonna go right ahead and second that. My goal for the week is also to finish my taxes.

unknown 1:12:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:26

And you know what?

SPEAKER_08 1:12:28

If you say finish my taxes, I'm gonna be so pissed.

SPEAKER_12 1:12:30

I haven't started them, so I can't say that. You can say start your taxes. I don't want to start my taxes this week. My goal for the week is to help Ryo figure out what her goal for the week is.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:44

My goal of the week is to level up in Skyrim. Nice.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:47

You did it, dear. Nice.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:48

The thing that's very accomplished.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:50

My weekend goal is over. I'm free.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:53

Our father who art in heaven, uh, I would ask you to please bless us. This salt nourish and strengthens our body. Um, please make sure that we all go home safe and we have a nice night. Um thank you. And uh good morning.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:08

And we will catch you on the flip side.